new adventures

a new year always brings along new adventures. this past year brought on many - some good & some bad. that's how the cookie crumbles though, right? when you sign up for life, you know you're going to get kicked around sometimes then other times you will be so filled with the joy of glitter that you can't even contain yourself!

so what's my new year's resolution you ask? to live life with abandon. i know, i know...b. you be crazy! let me give  few examples: try things i never thought i would do (within reason of course. c'mon folks, it's still me). regret nothing. love with my whole heart. get a puppy (you hear that ricky! a puppy!). mess up a time or 2 & be ok with it. run a half marathon in a spandex suit with my favorite frenchie. kill it on the dance floor of a wedding or 2. y'all can fight over which one i bring my a game to. have at least one of my phrases catch on ("babe" hasn't caught on yet? ok, how bout "psych!"? no? hm...). buy something totally ridiculous that i do not need ever in my life. like a sequin skirt. but better.

this coming year will bring many new adventures - hopefully with more cupcakes, laughing until i can't breath, dance parties in my living room (i might be doing this right now) & sparkle than i can handle! giddy up friends!

.

nye

i cannot even handle how adorable jgl is. seriously, i would let him hold me tight on nye. and maybe marry me. i'm just saying, i totally would.

stupid.

perfect holiday gift

i have found it my friends! the gift for that person that has everything. i know you have them - i certainly do. or that person that is incredibly hard to shop for because they are picky. or hard to please. or a hippie. either way this will please all! i present to you....

the gaga cookie! i mean, i sure want one. not a gaga fan? well, then feel free to get these...

the gaga monster cookie! i mean, it's not gaga...it's a monster. sure maybe gaga calls her beloved & devoted fans monsters but you're picky friend/family/creepy coworker doesn't need to know.

wings

butler

i have neglected you. i am sorry. very genuinely deeply sorry. i will make it up to you with one of the more embarrassing things that has happened to me in a hot minute. here goes....

2 weekends ago i was working on oak brook, il. yeah, it's the mecca of all things exciting & grand, i know. being a true minnesotan & not having the same directional abilities as every person from illinois, i simply plunked the event location into my gps & off i went. now being entirely too trusting of technology, i didn't realize said gps was giving me directions to this location through the service roads of a golf course until i was in the midst of the drive. at 5:30pm, which is code for in pitch blackness. rude. as i am about to pull up to the clubhouse to ask for directions, a colleague of mine pulls up next to my car & rolls down his window:

d: hey b, you know where we are going?
b: blast, no. my directions want me to take that horror movie of a service road.
d: yeah mine too!
b: ok, well ill just run into the clubhouse real quick & get some directions for us.
d:*pause* well....ooook....ill just follow you.
b: uh, ok then...

note: his response to my seeking directions was awkward & weird. i mean he is a little more awkward than the average bear but this was extra awkward.

so i roll up my window, driving up to the clubhouse & pull into the valet area, secretly hoping i won't actually need to get out of the car (bc i am eternally lazy) & the wonderful valet who greets me will direct me to my desired destination. no such luck. i hop out of the car, gracefully as i am no b.spears & was wearing a skirt, to run inside.

b: i'm just gonna run in quick, be right back!
d:*pause*ok...ill just follow you.
b: ok, weirdo...ill be right back.

running inside i am greeted by...nobody. awesome. i meander farther (did i mention that now i am late? oh yeah because i am.) past the dining room & into the bar area. thanks goodness! a bartender!

b: hi there, can you give me directions to said location?
bartender (who's eyes almost fall out of his head - must have had a booger smeared on my face): uh...sure...go back out onto the road, take a right then a right & it's on the right.
b: ok, great, thank you sooooo much!

i run back outside, relay the directions to my counterpart, who apparently can only say "ookkkk, ill follow you" & hit the road. sure enough, back on the road after a few rights, lo & behold! our destination. we hustle in & i proceed to set up the event. as i walk back i note that my previously speech-impaired partner is now shocking our catering sales representatives with some folklore.

b: what are y'all talkin about?
catering reps: uh...how you went INTO butler national golf course clubhouse!
b: oh yeah, it was so weird, my gps sent me through their service roads. no way was i doing that!
d: b...don't you know that butler is 1 of only 5 MEN'S ONLY EXCLUSIVE clubs?
b: i'm sorry...what?!
*laughter*
d: oh b, yeah that's super exclusive & men only.
b (red faced): d! why did you let me go in there then?!
d: i dunno...you looked like you meant business.

needless to say, women of much greater stature than myself have been physically removed from said clubhouse, valet parking circle & even member parking area. but not me...i like to break down the gender barriers one bad set of directions at a time.

cherish

all of my favorite blogs are listing off the things they are thankful for. i mean, it's kinda the season for that being as tomorrow is THANKSgiving. want to know what i'm thankful for? lots of things actually. despite the road being a little bumpy sometimes, seemingly more lately, i am immensely blessed with the love of so many wonderful people. i have amaze-balls parents who are super nerdy & totally rock. my brothers are extremely weird but baller at the same time. i have the best friends a girl could hope for (one of whom is my sister-in-law, how lucky is that?!) & i have so many awesome friends that i can call my best friends that i can't even count them on one hand! holy geez...i am one lucky lady! 

i'm sure you were all just waiting for this mushfest...i had to get on the bandwagon. i am never one to be left behind!

gaga's workshop

there have been many a time i wished i lived in new york but nothing as much as gaga's workshop. only at barney's in new york (because clearly if i lived in new york, i would be able to afford to shop at barney's...clearly) can you find this wonderland online. i am wondering what would happen if i were to show up in the nona with some flame nails?

 no? maybe not this year...i'll have to work up to it...

fall driving mix

i'm sure you have all been losing sleep thinking "what in the devil is b listening to as she treks back & forth & back & forth?!" well, worry no longer! here is my latest & greatest driving tunes...

1. bruno mars - it will rain. yes i do sing at THE TOP of my lungs. absolutely top. top. top. top.

2. rihanna - we found love. ooooooh. you better believe this is the highest volume my little ears can take & i shake my booty the best i can while wearing a seatbelt. oh yeah, this one sometimes makes me dance run. ask k8 what that means...

3. dev - in the dark. yeah i know, i still love this song from this summer. reminds me of a dance party in a certain cabin on a certain weekend.

4. matt nathanson & sugarland - run. holy geez i love this song! holy. geez.

5. gaga - hair i mean, everything gaga makes the drive go much much faster.

6. gavin degraw - not over you. i love gavin degraw. like really love him. dear gavin, let's get married. kthnxbye.

7. jesse j - domino. girl, i wish i would have heard you sangin this in between the vma commercials. but no, you had to go & sing other people's shizzy. it's ok, i forgive you.

8. miranda lambert - baggage claim. plus she killed it at the cma's.

9. jason aldean - tattoos on this town. i love country folks. move on.

10. chingy - balla baby. this is something i have been seeking out in order to brush up on my rapping for a special friend's wedding. yes, i do take my rap show on the road if you are interested.

this is just a small sampling of my latest car tunes. well, let's be honest...i sing these when i'm in the shower & when i'm swimming too. also when i'm running. thus the dance run.

the most wonderful time

this is my favorite time of year. no not because it is the almost snow time but not quite here yet. not because my apartment is filled to the brim with leftover halloween candy. though that is a good reason to like this time. nope, this is my favorite time of the year because it is all my favorite holidays rolled into a 30 day span.

1. thanksgiving eve. man, this is a great night. i love gathering with my masters swimming friends & watching the dads get bombed. it is so fun!

2. christmas cookie making time. i love making christmas cookies. any occasion that these festive little treats are made (& consumed) should be considered a holiday. it is in my book.

3. my all time favorite holiday...MY BIRTHDAY! man, i really love birthdays & especially my own. i know i've discussed this previously but just a reminder that i love this day. but i hate the 'happy birthday' song. like deeply i hate it. please don't sing...please!

also on an unrelated note: look how pretty this clutch is! if you have a bazillion dollars, you can buy it for me for one of the aforementioned holidays. but if you have a bazillion dollars, you are also very good at keeping that a secret because i don't know anyone who does.

(thank you rachel zoe for making my life prettier)

i do

i just call it like i see it. so does naughty betty who makes this delightfully honest card. seriously, God...with all due respect, wtf?

happy halloween!

i will surely be hiding under my blankets tonight. no halloween murderers will get my sugared-up self!

i'm not a cat person but

this made me laugh. OUT LOUD AT MY DESK. no, actually it was not embarrassing at all.

this weekend

i am looking forward to many many things.

1. football! ok, my beloved gophers aren't exactly what one might consider a football team, certainly not a good team, but i will still go, cheer, yell, jump & hopefully clap. there wasn't much clapping happening last weekend. i most just gabbed with my love, kh. her husband gets so annoyed when we do that :)

remember when that happened? yeah it was pretty awesome.

2. tailgating! the theme this weekend is trick or treat, for obvious reasons. i plan to bring a variety pack of cupcakes. do not expect them to look anything like this but here is the goal:

who doesn't love a good witch hat?

ghosties are fun too. especially when they have googly eyes.

the only time i like spiders. even this makes me slightly uncomfortable actually.

3. halloween bake fest with SUNSHINE! well, really anything with sunshine is exciting but baking is always a great time. we will most likely wear aprons & listen to some excellent jams. like...

happy friday friends!

dear mr. wonderful.

i know you're out there & i'm sure you are taking notes. add this to your list of things you should do for me.

(thanks style me pretty)

make up a dance for me to perform at the wedding. please. i will love you forever. kthanksbye.

i want

a puppy! ricky...can i keep it at your house? puh-puh-puh-lease?!

i wish i was this good

look at the ninja skills!! ok so here's where i found this. please be somewhere you don't mind laughing out loud as you appreciate  these photos that were taken at just the right moment. i'm so glad i could put a little giggle in your day.

dedication:

this morning's car jam is dedicated to j.

this jam will forever make me think of him. sorry buddy...you can't escape it. good thing i looooove this song.  enjoy!

conquer

someday

i will totally have a child that is ridiculous like this. no doubt.

new fav jam

are you ready for this? i don't think you are. ok, well, maybe you are. i bet you actually are. is the anticipation killing you?! are you even reading this? i bet not...i bet you jumped right over my mubo-jumbo straight into my new favoritest jam. i cannot control my dancing when this comes on. doesn't matter where i am. luckily i am usually in my car or home alone.

...aaaannnnd dance! don't be afraid to hit repeat & do it again. yup, i'm doing it right now...

i heart autumn

for so many many reason, but here are a few of the specific ones.

1. changing leaves. so pretty! then jumping into big piles of fallen leaves. er, i mean watching small children jump into big piles...

2. surprising warm days *ahem* today *ahem*

3. pumpkin everything. pumpkin spice lattes. pumpkin breads. pumpkin cookies. pumpkin ice cream. on surprising warm days.

4. football!!

5. fall fashion week.

6. the tailgate that gives me an excuse to each too much with my friends. on a regular basis.

7. caramel apples. or carmel apples. depending on who you are.

(i was trying to type phonetically friends...i know it's really caramel.)

8. halloween! durh.

9. the candy that comes with halloween.

10. thanksgiving! a reason to stuff myself silly & remind myself of all the wonderful things i have.

(sorry i should have sounded the mush alert)

happy fall!

running

 

so here i was, running along, minding my own bee's wax when i bump into this fellow. well, actually i saw him from afar...like 10 feet (i think i need to change my contacts) & wasn't sure what to do. so being the very cautious individual that i am (that's a nice way of saying i'm a big fat chicken - no pun intended), i slowed my pace, unsure of the reaction this new friend would bring. guess what he did? ran after me. yup, he sure did. i mean, these things can attack right?! look at those eyes! he totally wanted to peck my eyes out. or my shoelaces off!

awkward turtle

its been a week. take too much work sprinkled with too much travel & not enough sleep, you have my last 9 days. this weekend is really going to turn it around though, i just know it! karma just had to get in one last laugh before it let me be (because i must've made a habit of kicking puppies in a former life). one last hurrah.

tonight, i was in the hispanic aisle of the target, pondering which salsa would best top my chips (it can be quite the debate), minding my own business when it happened. a small child walked square into my basket. yep, like forehead plastic grate contact. not side of the head...forehead. no, i was not moving & yes, the basket was close to my body. of course he was going fast. it was like i clothes-lined the little guy without even moving.

thanks karma for making me feel like a big jerk for allowing little kids to run into my target basket.

running

sunshine, are you sure you want to do a marathon with me?

smile for me daddy

this morning's run mix was themed: awful music i listened to (& still secretly love) in college. including this jam:

i am only slightly embarrassed to admit i still know every single word. i was not afraid to rap along as i treadmill'ed it up this morning. yes, i was the only one in the workout room. c'mon people, i do have a little bit of restrain. geez!

i'm so excited

i can't contain myself! man, i wish i was this excited about something. & that i could rock the baby-fro again. these days the faux fro isn't as cute as it used to be.

thnx thnx thnx

now, i'm not sure if y'all are familiar with this fun little website or not but i stumbled across it today as i was learning about national gratitude day. did you know? either way, this lovely little treat thanks everything for the joy it brings. chocolate, alcohol, & googly eyes are among the subjects. thanks leah for writing down all the things we are all so very grateful for. but maybe sometimes afraid to say. like googly eyes.

oh heeeeyyyyy

...& a sequined skirt on her bootay. don't worry, sunshine & i are going to have a party appropriate for the sequined love in my closet. it will probably mean cocktails & confetti.

gophers

i love college football. like to a level that it's almost a disorder. or like i'm a boy. the excitement of going to the gopher football game (my first of the season due to my faboosh trip) compounded with the excitement of the tailgate before was almost too much. don't worry, friends, i survived to tell about it. my beloved gophers even held on for a victory, despite their best attempts to lose the game in the last 2 minutes! even better!! sadly i won't be able to see a game in person for a few weeks now (stupid work!) but i'm already looking forward to the next gameday!

recap

whew! i made it home. i'm sure you were all worried since you hadn't heard from me yet. i mean, it is very legitimate that i would fall into the street & get run over my a crazy cab or get stolen in chinatown. rest assured, none of those things happened. a few other things did happen though. i discovered the most delicious bakery.

magnolia street bakery has some of the most delishy cupcakes i have ever had. that is saying alot too because i deeply enjoy the little confections. these had a yummy buttercream frosting - perfectly frosted as you can see (ignore the finger swipe...) & melted in your mouth as you shoved them into your face. not that i would do that...

i learned that it is possible that curtains, wallpaper & headboards can be made of entirely the same fabric. who knew?!

 champagne does indeed come in a can & is incredibly delicious. it's like a juice box for grown ups! it is also amazing.

yes, i will get squashed into the corner of a jimmy choo store that has glittery shoes. clearly that was not an issue for me.

i also met my gay husband. i have to admit there is something about having a beautiful gay man shower you with compliments. it's pretty much the best thing ever. then to have 2 gay men dress me up like a doll...sold! i wish this could be my life all the time. tragically, it is not.

i also feel in love. yes...me! it was amazing. so amazing that i needed to bring the love of my life back with me. please meet my future...

isn't is gorgeous?! i couldn't say no so this lovely skirt is now the object of my affection. who has an occasion where this is appropriate? really? nobody? ok, well, you keep me posted. otherwise i might wear it to the beer mile. just sayin...

to do while on vacay

  

vacation to do list 
as submitted by jj

1. have so so so so so so so so so much fun

2. and take pictures

3. and do fun things

4. and buy something cute

5. and eat new york style pizza

6. and cupcakes
       (she knows me so well!)

7. make out with that dude. ok, he's not there (rats!)...some dude.

8. text my work phone silly messages for a robotic voice.
(done.)

bye work & small town life! see you when i get back (if i come back)!